Confessions of Jersey Girl

This is the love story of Amy and Andrew.

The way we met was average—he worked with a good friend of mine, who held a fondue party for friends and co-workers, and as soon as I entered the room, he came over to talk to me as I hovered over the melted chocolate and yummy dipping fruits (okay, fine, really the marshmallows and pound cake, but whatever!).

“Why is that fruit so brown?” he asked.  “Didn’t she just cut it?”

I then launched into a discussion about oxidization of fruit, and how no, it didn’t go bad, it was just the air mixing with the acid and as I finished my incredibly nerdy explanation, he introduced himself as Andrew.  We sat next to one another the rest of the night, and talked constantly, albeit a bit drunkly, about life.  Later, I realized that he was a science nerd and was just using the fruit question as a cute opening line.  I’m glad I passed the test.

After the party, I was giddy, and sent him a casual email, offering to show him around, as he’d just moved to California from Illinois.  We made plans to hang out a few days later.  We chatted over coffee and then saw “I Am Legend,” which remains one of my least favorite movies of all time.  We were both nervous—I ran a red light while driving us to the theatre; he criticized my love of rap music, and our first kiss over a glass of wine was a bit awkward.  OK, a lot awkward, we were standing and I FELL DOWN.  Like an idiot.

Still, there was a spark.  From then on out, we were in each other’s lives.

It wasn’t easy.  The first few months of our relationship reads as a “What NOT To Do” advice article.  We were both still involved with other people and had some trouble defining our boundaries, resulting in tears, hurt and heartache on both sides.  Andrew and I are both incredibly, incredibly stubborn, and we don’t back down from one another.  We dealt with the loss of his job and the stresses of my first year of teaching, of breaking up several times because we both didn’t know what the hell we were doing, together OR apart for that matter.

But last summer, as we had yet another angry conversation, we sat on his front lawn and asked the hard questions.  Did we want to be together?  Were we willing to put aside everyone else, and everything else and see what we could be, just the two of us?  We agreed, yes, we could and we should.

And then we worked on falling in love.  We watched TV and movies, made one another breakfast, went on dates, stayed in, played games.  He got to know my family, and I flew to Illinois to meet his.  We yelled and fought, but mostly loved.  We broke down walls and learned who the other was.  It was tough, yes.  But it was worth it.

Our relationship is not easy, still.  There are hurts and worries and struggles, just as all relationships have.  There are days when we both wonder: can we do this?  We don’t always see life through the same lens, and we don’t always agree.  But there is love, and there is laughter, and there is a relationship that is more raw, vulnerable and intimate than any I’ve ever been a part of.

A former roommate once labeled our relationship as a Sex In The City style “dating urban legend”: making it with someone who seemed disastrous from the outset.  I don’t think it’s an urban legend—I think it’s a lot of hard work, dedication and a desire to be with the other.  I wake up next to Andrew every day and think that every single second has been worth it, for just that good morning kiss and knowing that at night, when I crawl into bed, he’s going to be there.

Matt:  “By the way, I’m awake now and I forgot that that living room doesn’t have curtains.”

Me:  “Hahahaha.  Pray that the neighbors weren’t home!”

Matt: “Oh, they are home, just not outside.”

Me: “Oh thank God.  They’d totally be judging us. The old lady was probably doing her dishes and then WHAM, naked Matt.  She probably thinks we’re nudists or something.”

Matt: “Who cares.  We own the house now… they’re stuck with us for the next 30 years!”

(Also?  I’ve posted over here today. )

Portrait sessions, building my portfolio and mastering Adobe Lightroom…

20sb Project: Love Story!  I’ve gotten six AMAZING submissions so far, and i’m looking for 50 total!  Send me your love stories!  The good, the bad, all of it!   This is going to be pretty incredible if the first few submissions are any indication.

Sitting three rows off the field at Phillies games on the most perfect end of summer night in the world…

And getting to do it with a pretty super fantastic boy…

And getting ready to live here.

Settlement is in SIX DAYS (well, five really), so posting might be a little bit here & there for the next week or so. (Just when I was trying to get better at this whole regular posting thing too!)  But, never fear… I’ll be back.  :)

I have always thought my drivers license picture from my 21st birthday was pretty decent.  It wasn’t a terrible picture and I thought it was a pretty accurate representation of what I looked like day to day.   Four years later, I didn’t think I had changed much from the picture.

That’s my drivers license picture taken the morning of my 21st Birthday.  Exacty 49 months ago today.  Not bad, right?  I mean, i fixed my hair, I put earrings on, I even got my eyebrows waxed for chrsts sake.  (She took a little too much off, I was looking a little sparse… don’t you think?)

So, that license expired on my 25th Birthday, exactly a month ago.  And since i’m dating a police officer, i’m a little slack on things like this because, well… I can be.  I got pulled over the other day by some 18 year old kid and was all REALLY!?, and then I gave him my “get out of jail free” card and was let off as long as my sister drove the rest of the way home.  WHATEVER.

Later that night I got lectured by both my sister and by Matt about my need to be more of an upstanding citizen, so I came into work late today so I could pit stop at the DMV this morning and renew my license.  Here’s the picture I left with:

Holy moses.  I don’t even feel like I look like the same person at all!!  No wonder the bouncers at the bars are always doing a double check on me.  Whoa.   Thank god it turned out decent… I was at Matt’s place with limited makeup and no flat iron.  UGH!

So, I think i’m aging pretty well… right?  RIGHT!?  How about you guys?  When you look back on pictures of yourself from four or five years ago, do you feel good about where you are?  I mean, sure… I have a wrinkle now.  But overall?  I think the current me is a vast improvement over 21 year old me.

E.P. asked: “If you had the choice, what would you want to photograph professionally?”

If I had the choice (and um, could go back in time and major in photography instead of psychology), I would love to do the journalism stuff. A lot like the things that you do. I’d love to travel and do the National Geographic stuff. Have you seen the portraits in those things(Of course you have… but GOD.)? I’m a huge fan of candid photography. I do NOT like posing people, it drives me insane. I like when shots just sort of present themselves in front of me. I like just firing off shots and seeing what I end up with.

Erin asked: “What inspired you to get into photography? When can I come visit your new house?”

Oh man. I’m going to feel so weird saying this because my inspiration? It’s actually two lovely blogger ladies that asked me questions in this post.

Kerri and Becka.

I began reading Beckas blog before she had even really got up and running as a photographer. As she built Studio 222 with Nate and came into her own as one of the best photographers I have ever seen… She has been a constant source of inspiration and a great example of what can be accomplished when you find your passion and follow your heart. Her photos are amazing and I’m always inspired when I check out their site. She’s amazing and a huge reason why I decided to take the jump and buy my DSLR.

Kerri, while not technically a professional, has taken some seriously amazing pictures. I loved all of the shots of her little sisters and the jumping pictures she always nails perfectly. I love how she edits her pictures and she’s a lot of the reason I decided to step out and get a DSLR. I so wanted to take pictures like Kerri! Weeee! I got sick of staring at her gorgeous pictures and set out to take some of my own.

I don’t think I’ve ever told these two ladies how much they inspired me with photography, but they have. Thank you guys.

Oh & Erin, WHENEVER YOU WANT.  I think you and Ted should come when it gets warmer out and enjoy some time at the beach. :)

Barbetti asked: “My question is: after your last blog post, where do you hope to be next year? As in, what would you like to have accomplished? “

That’s not fair! I don’t want to predict things! I’m kidding. Well, after this past year, I never would have imagined that I would be where I am right now. There’s no way I could have predicted to be doing what I’m doing right now… I think the one thing I’m hoping to be doing next year is exactly what I’m doing now. I’m looking forward to having a year of keeping things the same, a year of settling in.

As far as accomplishments, hm. I hope that in the next year, we really get to make our house a home. I hope that we get to take the time and make it our own. I hope that in the next year, we continue to grow as a couple and I hope we still laugh as much as we do now. I hope work stays steady and I hope to maybe sell a few houses and start putting together a little savings cushion.

Reinventing Amy asked: “So you were just in MN last wknd- what are your thoughts on Minnesotans? Do we really have funny accents? do you have a fashion faux pas that you do? I’ll admit I like Uggs. However being in MN, they’re kinda practical.”

I love them! People in the Midwest are so NICE. Overwhemingly soo. Not to say that we aren’t nice here out East, you guys though? You’re just a different breed of nice. I watched a lady rummage through her purse to find a wet nap because she was just walking by a mom that was trying to clean up her toddler. She literally stopped walking and rifled through her purse just to help this woman.

Yes, you have really funny accents. Well, some more than others I have to say… but it’s still hilarious. Dontcha know?

I rock my uggs. I’ve been known to do with with jean skirts too… but that was in like 2006. Other than that, I don’t really think I am too bad with fashion. Well, I do have a pair of Birkenstocks. They are sort of embarrassing.

Steph Anne asked: “What’s the first thing you’ll do with the house? a DIY project?“

PAINT!! I absolutely can not wait to put some color on my walls! The carpet is beige and the walls are white since the house is new construction… it makes me twitchy just looking at all that neutral color! We also plan on switching out some lighting and installing a new bathroom vanity. Oh! And there is a giant holly tree in my back yard, right smack where we want to put a pool. Matt hates it and so do I… I’m fairly certain that the weekend after settlement he will be taking that down. Should be entertaining.

Hm. I have quite a few I think. A few months back, right when Matt and I decided to get back together, I drank two bottles of wine in just over two hours. I ended up throwing up EVERYWHERE. His brother sent me a cell phone pic snapped of me in an oversized t-shirt and lacy panties passed out on his toilet seat. That was pretty mortifying.

Are Jersey girls really as obnoxious as people make them out to be? (Haha I’m joking. Sort of.) Baby

NO. Well, sort of? I’m from SOUTH JERSEY. All of the shows that have the obnoxious Jersey Girls? (MTV’s True Life, Real Housewives, etc.) They are all filmed up in north Jersey, by New York City. That’s almost four hours away from me. I think the closer you get to NYC and / or Seaside Heights, the more obnoxious the girls are. Really. Up that way it’s all bleach blonde and obnoxious girls and spikey haired, spray tanned, popped collar guido guys. Down here? We’re relaxed. We’re surfers and skaters and hippie kids. We are beach bums and it’s so relaxed and small town and so different than anything they ever show on tv.

Emily asked: “Do you like/watch baseball? If so, what’s your favorite team??“

I don’t so much like to watch baseball on TV. I find it kind of boring. I adore the Phillies, and not just because they won the World Series. I’ve loved the Phillies (and the Flyers and the Eagles) my entire young life.

I’ve been spoiled since getting my job here, we get tickets to sit in the VIP section right by home plate. There’s waiter service and amazing food and it’s just generally amazing. I love going in the hot summer or during September when theres a bit of a chill in the air.

Wishcake asked:

1. “What is one movie you can watch over and over and over and never get sick of?”

2. “What is your favorite thing about yourself (inside or out!).”

3. “Who is your quirkiest, most random, celebrity crush?”

Dirty Dancing, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Top Gun are my vices. Any time I catch them on TV, I have to stop what I’m doing and watch it. It’s like a bad Lifetime movie, it always sucks me in.

I like to think that I have a good heart, almost to a fault. I think today, that’s hard to come by in a lot of people and I’m so grateful to my family for bringing me up in such a way that I am the person that I am now.

I also love my eyes. It’s by far my most complimented feature and I love playing them up with the right eye makeup… I always feel like a rockstar. Oh, and my ass. TMI? Whatever… I worked so hard to make it look fantastic.

Can I still get away with saying Taylor Hanson? I mean, ti’s not random… but he’s got like 10 kids. I should just give that up already, I think. Oh, and the guy in the Mac commercials, Justin something or another. There is something crazy adorable about him.

Becka @ Studio 222 asked: “What’s your favorite thing to eat goat cheese on?”

Pretzel Chips. The salty with the cheese is KILLER. I also like all things cheese on good crusty bread. I’m making cheese and jam turnover/tart things tonight, and I’m excited to see how I like those. I’m new to the cheese thing and still figuring out what I do and don’t like… any suggestions?

Theraputic Ramblings asked: “What are at least 3 things that you love about NJ that you’d miss if you left? ”

The first thing I would miss is fairly predictable, but it’s the beach. As I sit at my desk right now, I can see the ocean out my office windows. My new house? It’s a few blocks, maybe a five minute walk to the Delaware Bay. Whenever I’m away from here for more than a weekend, I start to get all weird and itchy to get back. Saltwater runs in my veins I think.

I’d miss Tastykakes. I don’t eat them often, I probably had them more in Minnesota when I brought them to other people than I ever have at home, but that’s okay.

Wawa. Now, this only counts if id be moving away from the Tri-State area. I’d miss everything about this perfect slice of heaven / convenience store.

While I’m at it… I’m going to throw in a bonus because there really are FOUR things I would miss terribly if I ever left. NOT HAVING TO PUMP MY OWN GAS. That’s right, it’s against the law to pump your own gas in the great state of New Jersey. I can honestly say, I’ve never done it. When I travel to other states, I’m always amazed by people OUT OF THEIR CARS and PUMPING THEIR OWN GAS. I mean, what?! Ridiculous. Special thanks to the guys at Wawa pumping my gas in February when it’s like 4 degrees outside.

Jersey Girls. We pump our fists, not our gas.