Confessions of Jersey Girl

We all get the lecture when we’re kids.  You know the one.  The one where your parents talk to you about money and credit cards and they tell you that those shiny little plastic cards aren’t magic and they come with something called an APR.  Your parents probably told you something like “Put something small on the credit card each month.  Pay it off in full!  Don’t buy things that you can’t afford.”  But somewhere in between that conversation that I had with my mom and getting my grubby little hands on my very first credit card, I forgot all of those talks about financial responsibility.

My freshman year of college, I was bombarded by creditors eager to hand me my first piece of plastic.  I wanted one of those “COLLEGE” shirts that everyone was wearing (Shut up.  It was 2002.) so I applied for whatever credit card was handing those out.  I got my first card in the mail with a limit of $1,000.  I did okay with it for a few months and then the temptation of new clothes and dinners out with friends and concerts just got to be too much.  I always told myself it would be “Just this once”, but we all know that isn’t how it works.  Well, I racked up that $1,000 pretty quickly.   Then?  I was two days late on a payment and the APR skyrocketed from the promo rate to the regular rate of like 28%.  When I couldn’t make the minimum payment?  I didn’t pay anything at all.  I avoided the creditors calling every five minutes.  I disregarded the harm that was happening to my credit.  I didn’t care.  I don’t know why I didn’t care, I guess it was easier.

It was easier to skip eating and swipe my debit card to buy the designer shirt that I wanted (at the time?  it was totally Ed Hardy.  What?  Ed Hardy was never in?  Pshhh.  Before John Gosselin, it was cute.), to not pay my credit card bill because I’d rather be out at some fancy restaurant with my girlfriends eating sushi and drinking martini’s with top shelf vodka.  I had no concept of what was happening with my credit score, heck… I never even thought to check.  I was in college and I was having the time of my life, consequences never even OCCURRED to me.

And then on that fateful day, I decided to check out my credit score.  I swear, it was in the 400’s.  Um.  What?  You can’t get a car with a credit score of a 400.  You can’t get a freaking prepaid credit card with that kind of a credit score (You totally can, but a 400?  Really?  COME ON).  I didn’t know what to do.  I knew it was bad, but I had no idea.  So I googled.  I trolled the forums on MyFico.com and tried to learn new ways to boost my score.  I wrote letters to the credit bureaus disputing information on my report that was false, I wrote letters to the creditors begging them to help me.  I got a lot of information removed from my credit reports which boosted my score a little, but the only thing that really helps is time.

God, looking back now, i’m so frustrated with myself.  Seriously.  What was I thinking?  I mean, to just not pay a bill?  The thought of that now makes me break out in hives.  When your parents tell you “life happens”, they weren’t freaking kidding.  It does and you need to be prepared.  I don’t care if you can only put $5 into savings each paycheck, it’s better than nothing.  If you can only afford to pay $10 over the minimum payment on your credit card, DO IT.  It’s all going to pay off in the long run.  One of the most important investments I’ve made in the past few years as I’ve stumbled through my finances was to pay myself first.  It should be like a bill you pay into your savings account, it’s non negotiable.  Never be scared to pick up the phone and call your credit card company.  If you’re payment is going to be late or you can’t afford the minimum?  They will work with you, i’ll bet anything.

But the most important thing that I learned is that I wasn’t alone.  Debt among 20 somethings is so common, and so many of us are in the process of digging ourselves out.  For whatever reason, money is a taboo subject, but I feel like if I had someone to talk to when I was going through what I went through, I would have been able to pick myself up faster.   It would have saved me so much work to get my credit score up 300 points, to get a few dollars in the bank, to feel like i’m not drowning in my debt.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about money, debt or your own personal spending habits?  Do you think that personal finance and money is better kept to yourself?

Disclaimer: This post is part of the 20SB Blog Carnival: Friends & Money, sponsored by Charles Schwab. Prizes may be awarded to selected posts. The information and opinions expressed in this post do not reflect the views or opinions of Charles Schwab. Details on the event, eligibility, and a complete list of participating bloggers can be found here.

Elizabeth asked to see a picture of my Penny sunbathing.  This was funny on numberous accounts, but mostly because THAT IS ALL SHE DOES.

These were seriously taken at different times.  Different weeks even.  My outside couch is her favorite spot in the world.  I have to beg her to get down and come in the house.  We have had pretty fantastic weather here lately, and she just sits by the door begging to be let out all of the time.  Precious.

Ang asked to see the inside of my refrigerator.  How very Cribs.  I debated on even taking this picture today because truthfully, i’m ashamed.  I can’t even tell you the last time I went grocery shopping.  It’s sad.  I make the weekly pit stop for fresh veggies and milk, but that’s about it.  Sigh.  My fridge is a disaster.

You can see it all.  Haha.  Frozen chicken, pierogies, thin buns, my brita pitcher that I live and die by, country time lemonade for easy mixing with sweet tea vodka (that’s on the bottom shelf of the door), yogurt, apple sauce for matts lunches, left over pasta sauce, sunflower seeds for salad, hot dogs that my father insists on buying even though I think they are the most vile thing ever created, honey shrimp I thought Matt would love and most importantly, TOTS.

Jessa asked to see my dishes.

Up top is some crystal that my Mommom used when the girls would come over to play cards.  She gave it to me right after Matt left and I was scared to take it.  I didn’t want anything to happen to it, she was obviously trusting me with something that held a lot of memories for her.  But, she insisted and there it sits.  I’d like to pull it out on a girls night of my own, but I never remember.  That’s probably a good thing though.

The dishes though?  I am not a huge fan of em.  Matt’s aunt got them on clearance for super cheap right before we moved into the house.  They work perfectly fine and I don’t really care what the dishes look like, my food always impresses. :)

The green bowls are a score from the Anthropologie sale racks and the green cup to the right is what I drink my tea in.

Jen asked to see my outdoor living space!  I love this.  LOVE.  I am seriously smitten over my outdoor furniture.

Right?  Ah, love.  I got the furniture from WalMart of all places.  It’s part of their Canopy line.  I just loved the blue cushions, so I knew it was meant to be. :)  We actually have TWO parts to our outdoor living area though…

Ah, the Man Cave.  Yes, that is a pool table.  Yes that is a kegerator.  Yes, there is a keg in the kegerator and it is fully operational. Every man’s dream and every wifes nightmare. We inherited the pool table from my parents that couldn’t wait to get rid of it and get some space back and we inherited the kegerator (much to my dismay) from Matt’s batchelor pad.  When they all moved out of their shared apartment, all of the other boys moved home with mom and dad.  The kegerator had nowhere to go and found it’s new home in my garage.  Sigh.

Lacey wanted to know where Matt and I spend our time.

We have not one, but TWO super charged waverunners.  My mom tells me all the time that it’s my fault we even own the damn things.  She reminds me that every time I broke Matt’s heart before we got back together, he went out and bought a new toy.  Sad, I know… and i’d like to argue it…. but it’s the honest to god truth.

One time after I told him I couldn’t be with him, he bought a motorcycle.  Thank god I convinced him to sell that. :)  These things do 75 on the water, which is pretty insane.  I’ve only gotten up to 50mph or so, which is pretty fun.  Matt jumps sky high in these things over waves, which is why I ride the red one by myself.

We only have one day off together per week, and I like to be doing something instead of sitting in the house.  We will usually sleep in a bit, grab breakfast at our favorite spot (where our entire family works!) and then head out for the afternoon on the wave runners.  It’s a lot of fun and if you’re ever in Jersey, I’ll take you for a ride!

Amy asked to see my fridge!  I took this to mean the outside of my fridge.

You can see… a group picture of me and my cousins from when we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese, a postcard from Orange County, Ca that I love, the Save the Date for Matt’s brother’s wedding, an old picture of Matt in his blues, Matts work schedule, softball schedule and pay schedule, a letter from Kerri, a card from Doniree, Jimaie’s Christmas card, the registration for my car that I should really put IN my car, and Penny’s heartworm pills.  Interesting, I know.

Katelin asked where my wedding corner was.  I actually didn’t think I had a wedding corner.  Ha!  Destination weddings are super easy to plan and don’t involve a ton of DIY because there really isn’t a lot that you can bring with you.  And then I remembered my invitations!  They are currently taking up my office space, i’m trying to get them out before the end of the month.  It’s stressful.  It’s actually a whole different post for a whole different day.  ANYWAY.  My wedding corner.

Divine twine, film for my Instax, envelopes, liners, wax seals… it’s taking over my LIFE.

Kelsey (a fellow AF wife! <3) asked what physical object comforted me the most while Matt was deployed.  I had to think about this one.  I thought about posting my computer because seriously, a lot of nights, that is what got me through.

But truthfully, I have a necklace that I got from Lucky Wife.  It has two charms on it.  One reads “Wife of a Hero” and the other reads “Lucky Me”.  It served as a daily reminder of who I was missing and how lucky that I was to even HAVE someone to miss.  Also, my engagement ring.  There were days when I was so down.  I’d just sit and twirl it around my finger and remember the night he asked me to marry him.  It never failed to bring a smile on my face, to remind me exactly what i’m waiting for.

Bria asked to see the inside of my cupboards.  Again, same as fridge.  Disaster.  I’m pretty much living off of Thin Buns and Cheddar SunChips right now.  Sad.

I seriously don’t know why those chicken noodles are still in there.  I didn’t even notice until I took this picture.  Ugh, I hate those things.   Yes.  You’re seeing Spagetti-o’s.  That’s for when I get really desperate.   The Easy Cheese is Matt’s weakness.  He puts it on pretzel crisps.  Me?  I go for the Nutella that’s next to the box.  YUM.

And there you have it!  Little bits and pieces of my every day.  If there’s something you want to see, you can still let me know!  This was a fun little project!  I will hopefully be able to take the rest of the suggestions photos tomorrow, i’m off from work all day, HOORAY! :)

In the comments of this post, leave one thing in my life that you’d like to see.  It can be anything.  I’ll take a picture of it and i’ll do a big post next week.  I know I love when other bloggers post pictures of their kitchen or their back yard or the street they live on… so this is your shot.  One thing.  Anything.  Go.

Blogging is a really remarkable thing.  It allows us all to document our lives, to keep a record, to open ourselves up to complete strangers and the most amazing experiences.  It also allows you to leave out the not so nice things about life.  See, it’s easy to write about that promotion you just got or the cupcakes you’re sharing with your girlfriends or how sweet your boyfriend is when he bring flowers home.  Which, is all wonderful, everyone loves to read about the happy stuff.

If I wrote about all of the times my better half left the toilet seat up, or how I yelled at him for something silly and threatened to stay home from our group date the other night, i’d probably have you all running for the hills.  Who wants to read about that?

Anyway.  I digress.  I’m in a funk this morning.  Matt didn’t tell me the truth on something even when I asked a bunch of times.  He didn’t come clean until he knew he was caught and I’m crushed.   There was no reason for it, its completely silly… but the fact that he thought that he couldn’t tell me the truth is breaking my heart.   I left the house without a kiss this morning, it’s after 10am and I haven’t called yet.

I’ve been sitting here all morning wondering what I did to make him feel like he couldn’t tell me something.  I’ve thought that maybe we moved to fast and didn’t think things through (that’s not at all true).  I’ve wondered if it was something I said or something I did.  I’ve racked my brain since 7am this morning and I’ve got nothing.

I’m sad and frustrated.  I know it’s all going to blow over because it really is no big deal, but… I don’t know.  Right now?  This kind of sucks.

I saw RENT for the first time when I was eleven years old.  Even then, even when most of the meaning of the show ways way over my head, I was captivated.  The music, the characters… it moved me in a way that I can’t really explain… even for someone that didn’t really “get” it at the time.

Since 1995 when I saw the show for the very first time, I’ve seen it 13 other times.  Different characters, different places, I was even lucky enough to see it in Philadelphia last winter with Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp reprising their roles as Roger and Mark.  They day I found out that the show would no longer be on Broadway in my beloved Neiderlander Theater, I actually cried.  I’m not some crazy fan, I don’t talk about my love for the show to everyone.

My blog BFF Jess posted yesterday about catching the last parts of the movie on TV and about the song “No Day But Today”.   Even if you don’t like musicals, even if you HATE them, listen to this song.  It’s impossible to not be moved by it, to think about the way that you live your life when you hear it.

This past spring, a few weeks before Matt came back home to me, I got the tattoo that you see above.  It says “forget regret.”  It’s a HUGE theme in RENT, it’s something that I’ve always tried to remind myself.  This past year had been monumentally life changing for me, and I needed a constant reminder to forget my regrets, keep moving forward, to learn and to love with as much passion as I could.  You never know what day is going to be your last, you know?  Forget Regret.

It hurt like a bitch, i’m not going to lie, but I love it.  It’s my absolute favorite tattoo and it holds so much meaning for me.  It helps me remember where i’ve been and what i’ve gone through to be the person that I am now.  I love explaining the meaning of it to people, It always makes me smile.

What about you?  Do you have a tattoo with a lot of meaning?  Did you love RENT?  Hate it?