Confessions of Jersey Girl

The above photo is just one of the shots I captured during the engagement session that I shot yesterday evening.

About a week ago, I got my hands on a Canon 5D Mark II camera.  It was a HUGE financial commitment.  I saved and planned and made sacrifices (mostly in the wedding department.  I didn’t REALLY need the beautiful, flowy arch on the beach that costs $600 just to RENT).    I’ll admit, I was intimidated.  Becka shoots with this camera, Jasmine shoots with this camera. These are two women that I look up to SO much, they are two women who I want to be just like.  (Is that creepy?  If either of you read this, please don’t be creeped out.  You girls are just rockstars.)  All I kept thinking was that if my pictures suck on this camera, I’ll know its because i’m not good enough, because I don’t have the know how.  A good camera can only take you so far, you know?

I sort of felt like yesterdays shoot was going to be my turning point.  From this, I was going to know if being a photographer was something that I wanted to really throw myself into full force or if I was just mediocre and should cut my losses and stop throwing my time and money into something that isn’t going to go anywhere.  I’m sort of convinced now that i’m meant to do this whole photography thing. I may not be as good (yet) as the women that I admire so very much, but I think I can get there… I can make this happen.  I have never in my life been so happy doing something.  Last night while I was posting the pictures to Facebook for my clients, the girl in the photo above messaged me.  ”Thank you Rachel.  I feel so beautiful.”  That’s how I know I did my job well.  I went to sleep with the biggest smile ever on my face last night.  I feel so honored that people let me into their lives, let me see them as they are with no walls up.  The magic is in the people I photograph, not the camera that i’m holding.

On a different note, I’m participating in a Project 365 with three other wonderful and inspiring women.  What’s a Project 365 you ask?  Simple.  We’re taking one photo each day for a year.  Sometimes the pictures will be taken with a DSLR, sometimes maybe my iPhone… who knows.   Each day, we all post our photos to our blog for you to check out.  It’s an amazing project, make sure you check it out!

So my wedding is in 88 DAYS (!!!!!) and we leave for Jamaica in 85 days.  We’re getting close to crunch time and i’m feeling the stress more than ever.  So, what’s a girl to do when she’s stressed out?  SHOP!  Here’s a rundown of some adorable, fabulous, wedding related goodies i’ve purchased in the past week:

I purchased the white one, and I have no idea where i’m going to wear it, but it was too cute not to have.  I already have “getting ready” tank tops that you’ll see in another post, so maybe the morning before the wedding getting ready for the rehearsal?  Hmmm.  It’s from Victorias Secret.

I also purchased the requisite terry cloth pants and hoodie, for getting ready, in white.  This is also from Victorias Secret (you know, in case you weren’t able to tell from the model.

Guys, I have been coveting this necklace since long before I was ever even engaged.  It’s perfection in every way.  I love that it’s an adorable little spin on the classic pearl necklace without being too over the top.  I finally bit the bullet the other day and ordered one because I’m convinced that nothing else will ever measure up.  Sigh.  It’s so pretty.  It’s from VirginiaGeigerJewels.

Perfection, right?  This headband is from my heaven on earth, Anthropologie and I can’t wait to get my grubby little hands on it.  I see a lot of repeat wear on this baby.  I plan on wearing my hair down for the ceremony, but I felt like I’d need just a little sparkle since my dress is so plain.  It’s perfect, not too over the top and will be just what I need to keep my beach wavy hair out of my face when I walk down the aisle to the love of my life.

For the reception I want to pull my hair into a side ponytail and I’m going to put this clip just above it.  Let me just tell you, if you have a serious love for hair flowers like I do, LilyLadyBlue is the place to go get them!   I swear, you can’t tell this flower is fake!  It looks and feels so real, I was completely blown away by this pretty little thing when it arrived in the mail last week.  It’s spectacular.  I even cheated and wore it out on date night last night.  I put my hair in a low side bun and pinned it in, you would not believe the compliments that I got!

This about rounds out my frivolous wedding purchases, ha!  What is something you plan on purchasing for your wedding that you could maybe do without?  What’s something that you don’t really NEED but you might die if you don’t have?  Am I the only one that gives in and buys all of this crap?

Life has been busy.  It’s weird to not really have any time to myself.  The laundry gets piled up, the dust bunnies start to collect on the floor, the gym time gets cut short,  I eat kraft blue box instead of cooking an actual meal and I haven’t seen Matt in two weeks.  I mean, yes… i’ve seen him.  But mostly just to go to sleep.  I called him the other day all teary, begging him for just a day of the two of us together.   We planned out our Sunday.  We were going to grab breakfast at our favorite spot, go hiking around Cape May, maybe take the waverunners out, and then?   The Air Force called.  They won.  Our plans were scrapped because he had to be on base all weekend.  Awesome.

I’ve had quite a few shoots this week and I put off editing a few days to clear my head, so I was a little behind where I wanted to be.  I was sitting on the couch editing my face off and I get a text.  It was super late, so it was kind of odd.  I pick up my phone and it says this…

“Have I told you today how beautiful you are?  I love you so much”

It was from Matt.  He was sitting right next to me.  I might have swooned a bit.  I immediately closed my computer for the night.

It’s the little things.

Today my posts and video from Matt’s homecoming were featured on The Welcome Home Blog.  I’m honored.  Please head over and check it out, but be sure to bring tissues.  While you’re watching videos and reading other entries though, please remember that we’re the lucky ones.  We’re the ones that get to have that second first kiss, that running jump on to the man that we love.  There are a lot of families out there that are not so lucky, there are a lot of families out there who’s loved ones have yet to return.  Think of them when you’re reading this.  Sharing our homecomings with civilians is a very special thing.  It’s a private moment that very few can actually understand.  I love it though, and i’m so very proud of my hero.

Also, I was contacted by a representative from Bacardi for a summer program they are doing with the USO to help our troops!

“ Bacardi USA’s “60 Second Cocktail Program,” an initiative launched by Bacardi, USA in association with the USO. This summer, Bacardi, USA encourages Americans to toast to the troops with its “60 Second Cocktails Program”. Bacardi has committed to donate $75,000 to the USO at the onset of summer, with consumers (21+) able to increase the total donation; each time a fan joins Bacardi’s “60 Second Cocktails” Facebook page at 60 Second Cocktails Program and clicks DONATE, the company will send $1 to the USO. With just one click, anyone can give!”

I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks.  Wowzers.   I promise, I have a good great excuse.  Promise.  In the past two weeks, my photography “business” has come alive.    Do I think i’m the best?  No.  Do I have a LOT to learn?  ABSOLUTELY.   But I want to be good at this more than I have ever wanted anything in the whole world ever.   In two weeks, I have shot a wedding, beach portraits with a mother and daughter, 3 portrait sessions with individuals and one with a brother and sister.  I’ve sat up late at night editing my little heart out to get the pictures back to the families ASAP.  I’ve shot in 100 degree heat with 12 pounds of gear around my neck (no really.  those lenses are HEAVY).  I’ve gotten so nervous that I thought I was going to PUKE.  But you know?  I think i’m getting the hang of this.