Confessions of Jersey Girl

So he was picking me up at 6:30p.  I didn’t really think much of it, but my poor mother (who, for the record, has been calling this boy her son for the past ten-ish years) was in a tizzy.   She asked me what I was wearing and I was all “um, denim shorts and a cute top?”  Apparently that was not sufficient because she begged me to put on a dress, so I gave in (Dresses are not out of the ordinary for me, i’m always in them.).  I didn’t do anything special with my hair, in fact… I think I just pulled it up in a ponytail.  What can I say, I’m a huge fan of casual.

So, he picked me up at 6:30 and we were off!  Shopping first to find the perfect present for a five year old.  We settled on a Wii game, how predictable.  After we were done our shopping, we headed over to Olive Garden for dinner.  This made me happy, because I can basically exist on their salad and bread sticks.   We sat at the bar and ordered a few drinks because there was a wait.   I settled into my wonderful glass of Pinot Grigio and he was drinking some god awful kind of red wine.  When we were seated, I ordered another glass.  When our food came, I ordered another glass.  When we were halfway through our dinner, Matt ordered me a bottle.   FANTASTIC.  I was already four glasses deep in 45 minutes, I DID NOT NEED AN ENTIRE BOTTLE.  But whatever, I went with it.

It needs to be said that when i’m nervous and alcohol (especially wine.  I love wine.) is placed in front of me, I drink.  I drink fast in the hopes of not having to speak or deal with the situation at hand.  I’m oh so classy, right?  (Shut up, you love me.)  So I have half of a glass from the new bottle he ordered and we left the OG and went off to visit his brother, which happens to be one of my most favorite people in the world.  Really.  He’s great.   So we got to his brothers house and what was his brother drinking?  Why Pinot Grigio!  WIN!

Over the course of two hours, I pretty much chugged two bottles of wine.   I remember having a serious conversation with his brother about Matt and I and then NOTHING.  I remember throwing up.  I remember throwing up A LOT and profusely apologizing for it.  Matt and his bro were awesome and totally made sure I didn’t pass out in my own vomit, which I thought was really nice.  I’m such a freaking disaster.  The worst part?  It was like… 11p.  It wasn’t even late.  Also?  I had work the next day!  Fun!

So I passed out on the couch with Matt and woke up at about 6am the next morning to go home and get myself together for work.   We got into the car and made it to the Garden State Parkway without incident but at about exit 28?  I had to ask him to pull over.  So, there I was at about 6:30 in the morning, throwing up out of a car on the GSP.   Matt was a great sport and just kept asking if I was okay and rubbed my back.  I seriously debated calling out of work, but I look at work hungover as a repentance for my sin of getting shit faced on a work night.   I made it into work at 9am, looking a hot mess.

I threw up ALL DAY.  Cracker? Barf.  Water? Barf.  Cheeto? Barf.  Around noon, Matt showed up with a happy meal for me.  He drove 45 minutes in Saturday Jersey Shore traffic to bring me chicken mcnuggets.  Which I didn’t eat.  The smell of the french fries was enough to kill me at this point.  I was still throwing up the half a cheez it that I tried to eat at 9:15a.  So, two days into this… he’s holding back my hair, cleaning up after my um, alcohol issues AND bringing me a happy meal?  Lord, I think I found a keeper.

I eventually made it out of work and home.  He met me at my house after he had gotten done his shift and just sat on the couch with me for hours.  Finally around 10:30p, I requested a large order of french fries from mcdonalds.  Him and my sister happily obliged and went to get them for me.  Let me tell you, it was the best order of french fries I had ever had.  I heard angels singing.

So that was night number 2.   For night number 3?  We sat up and talked about EVERYTHING.  We were up til 3am.  It was funny because I had it all set in my head that if he was a bad kisser, I was running for the hills.  I am very happy to report, that is SO not the case.  We talked about the us that was, we talked about being us again.   We talked about the future.  We talked about really doing this for real.  We talked about how, if we did this… It wasn’t just going to be dating.  We already know each other so well that it didn’t make much sense to just “date”.   I’m not gonna lie… this scared me a little, but at the same time I was totally cool with it.  Which, was weird.  This past year, I have been so resolved to doing my own thing.  I have been so happy traveling, answering to no one… the thought that I might have to go back to that again was a little strange.

We’ve spent time just having so much fun the past few weeks.  He makes me smile like no one I have ever met.  He genuinely cares about how I feel and what I think.  He’s crazy about me.  When we wake up in the morning, I can’t wait to talk to him.  I’ve found myself waking up before my alarm and staying awake just so I can take it all in, just so that I can enjoy the quite morning laying there with him holding me.   To want to be awake before my alarm?  It’s so out of character for me.  Now instead of hitting snooze one more time to drift off to sleep for ten more minutes, I hit it one more time so I can just lay there and be in the moment.

Nine years has finally come full circle.  This past year?  Same thing.  It’s been the hardest year of my life this far.  I’ve cried more, laughed more, taken more chances, seen more places, made more friends than ever before.  I finally found my happy place.  I think that everything that I have been through?  It’s been to get me to this place.  All of the bad?  It’s so that I would realize how absolutely amazing my life can be.

I accepted a LOT in the past that is just flat out unacceptable.  I think a lot of us women do.  We convince ourselves that what we have is amazing, out of convenience.  Believe me, i’ve done it.  We believe that how we are treated, even if it’s not bad and just mediocre, is how it’s supposed to be.  I was never treated poorly in any of my relationships, let me be very clear about that.  I was just… treated averagely.  I have been so amazingly swept off of my feet these past few weeks I hope these words do it justice.  It all feels so normal, so perfect.  All I needed to do was let myself feel this way.

Today?  We were prequalified for a mortgage.  I wrote a contract and we put an offer in on a house.  A gorgeous, BRAND NEW, 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom home that will be OURS.   It might seem kind of crazy, but if you knew the two of us and our story (which now you do) it fits right in with all the insanity that we’ve been through the past decade.  It’s just our style.  Both of our familes are thrilled.  Everyone is so supportive and excited for us to do this.  Like i’ve said a thousand times, it’s been a long hard road for me… but i’ve finally realized what it’s all about.  I’ve found my forever and I couldn’t be happier.