Confessions of Jersey Girl

I think you are right on the mark on this one. I for one, am a semi-newbie to blogging and to the community, and I have felt nothing but welcomed by you, Renee, Doni, the whole group! I follow the lives of almost every person who was nominated, and I think each and every one of you deserve to be on that list! If people don’t agree, they should at least be respectful and supportive of the community as a whole.

oh yea, and i totally want to come to your house for that sleepover :)

Lindsey’s last blog post..a big end to a crazy year

I’m a reemerging blogger who hasn’t even officially launched her blog yet. ALREADY I have over twice as many subscribers as I did with my last blog all because another blogger believed in me enough to allow me to use her blog as a platform to the blogosphere. I also carried on an all day converstaion just yesterday via gchat with another blogger whom I didn’t even know a month ago. We are all just trying to find a voice and be heard. Whatever these “cliques” people speak of are just the bloggers who have been around longer and have made a name for themselves. We all have the opportunity to do that. We just have to work hard. Blog “popularity” isn’t going to happen over night. It takes hard work and determination. And making your voice known.

You go girl for speaking up. I love reading your stories and even your tweets about Matt. Be strong. :)

Erin’s last blog post..Merry Christmas! |

There’s never a good excuse for bloggers not to be supportive of one another. No matter how long we’ve been at it, we’re pretty much all here for the same reason and therefore should have each others backs. Good for you for standing up for yourself and for other people who are being unfairly scrutinized. People have too much time on their hands.

I feel like I have you to thank for bringing me fully into the 20sb community and welcoming me with open arms into the madness that was Vegas, so all I can do now is applaud this post. Even as I’ve been dropping off the face of the internet because of life, the people I’ve met through blogging have still been there! It’s not about traffic and revenue, it’s about community and relationships. The sooner people realize that, the happier they will be.

This is an excellent, excellent post :)

I’m sorry that you feel hurt.

I’m one of the bloggers who’s been vocal about feeling off when it comes to the awards. I’m also one of the nominees. I never expected it, ever, and am indeed honored to be included (especially in a category with Lisa and Derek).

It wasn’t that I don’t feel that any of us didn’t deserve it. I think all of us agree that these bloggers are keystones of our community. They have welcomed us in and I only know of a very small handful of situations where people felt otherwise.

I feel that the issue some of us had was that with as many members as we have, we thought there’d be a wider representation of bloggers nominated for the award. Again, it’s not that those nominated are deserving. More people (myself included) should get involved in the nominating process.

I know it would be more work for the 20SB crew, but maybe getting some facts and figures would put us at ease? “XX many people were nominated for YY category out of ZZ votes total.”

Anyway. Again, I’m sorry you feel hurt. I know for myself that was not my goal in my post.

Erini’s last blog post..and the loser is?

I’m a fairly new blogger – granted I’ve been on the “scene” for years, but I’ve only just started again after a few years away. I’ll never get why the word “popular” is thrown around in the blogging community – it’s never about being popular, it’s not high school anymore, it’s everyday stories about life being judged by people who clearly have nothing better to do. Once someone mentions that somebody is “popular” as an insult, I lose all respect because they clearly are not blogging for the right reasons. I whole heartedly agree with your post, Rachel, and I believe a lot of other people will be behind you :)

Even I, a totally defunct 20sb member and a person who’s completely fallen off track with her blog, know what you’re talking about. And you’re right – they are NOT cliquey. Because when I was attempting to join the community, attempting to launch my blog, people were welcoming of me! Even though I was never around, really; even though I never posted much; even though I was brand new and a stranger, for all intents and purposes. People welcomed me. You welcomed me! And Iknow that if I ever get the energy again to be involved, everyone will re-welcome me into the community. So I’m hurt, along with you. You’re one of the first bloggers I started reading, and I stick with you because you’re REAL. You’re not cliquey, you’re not real. I’m sorry people are creating this group that doesn’t exist, and I’m sorry they’re putting you in it. Just know that people out here know it’s not true. Just like the other people who have commented before me, I’m completely with you and I 100% agree with your post.

Ignore the haters!

Thank you for writing this, Rachel. I’m proud of you for being brave enough to put your feelings out there – especially when things tend to get a little rocky in situations like this.

I whole-heartedly agree with all you’ve said on here…it brings me back to the backlash we felt after Vegas when we were all so stunned by the negative view some people had of the whole situation. I hated that the same people who were being attacked were the same people who scooped me up into their lives with open arms – and it’s kind of the same thing now.

It’s tough to build up your blog and get a large readership and presence in this ol’ blogosphere and it DOESN’T happen overnight. It’s more of an “organic” process…if that’s even the right word. I wrote for an entire year on my blog with the vast majority of every post receiving no comments and having no readers. But you know what? That’s okay. I wrote for ME. Honestly, I never started blogging to be a “famous” blogger and certainly had no idea that I would end up with so many people in my life that I consider to be best friends as a direct result of my blog.

Every person who was nominated has worked hard to get to where they’re at. I’m not saying this to defend myself – I am floored by my nominations and I’m more humbled by it than anything (it’s a lot of pressure to live up to, if I can be honest).

Anyway, this is all to say that I hope that more up-and-coming bloggers realize that it isn’t a popularity contest. It truly isn’t. I’m fairly confident that as long as you are a genuine, honest, friendly person, people will connect to your writing and you will end up getting to where you hope to be.

You are a gem, Rachel. I miss you incredibly.

:)

wishcake’s last blog post..on the morning after (Christmas, that is)…

people are ridiculous! first of all, congratulations on being nominated….you deserve it. i can’t people people are so petty. if they wanted to be nominated, maybe they should have better marketed their own blogs…
and in regards to the “popular girls” and “cliquey” yeah, maybe y’all are popular becaus you guys are the most sincere, kind bloggers around. in my opinion, everyone who got nominated totally deserved it.
i respect this post big time.

Don’t let those haters hurt you, they’re just jealous of how awesome and genuine you are.

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I am so glad you wrote this! I just went thru the nominees and they are the people who are the best at what they do and for making the community what it is! There will always be people who try to bring down others who are trying to do a good thing. It’s a shame really that we just can’t give credit where it is due without all the drama.

I am proud of everyone. I am so excited for you all! You put time into your blog and your relationships and it deserves props! Congratulations!

I’m just going to say if people don’t like how things worked out, be proactive about it. You’ve definitely covered that though :)

For the record, my “on wednesdays we wear pink” twitter list was the product of a slight Mean Girls obsession and no different than someone making a “favorites” twitter list.

Just had to get that in there because I’m sure someone is thinking I’m being a cliquey bitch or whatever with that. And okay FINE, I was slightly poking fun at that because really? The last thing we are is mean girls.

xoxo

Hey Rachel, I really appreciated this post. It’s easy to call the awards a popularity contest, but then people forget WHY those bloggers are popular in the first place: because they DESERVE to be. Besides, the process was as democratic as it gets (every member was able to nominate!) and a lot of the complaining comes from people who didn’t even nominate.

You can’t control what other people say or do, but you can control how you react to it. (I think my mom told me that in high school after one of my friends crapped on me and I cried for about 5 days straight.) Try not to let the negative stuff people are saying ruin your nomination. Good luck on the win!

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Great point. We also have to remember not to take ourselves too seriously. This is all in fun – it’s most definitely not intended to make anyone feel bad.

I am so, so glad that you posted this. Seriously. We have an awesome community full of amazing, sweet, wonderful bloggers who are ready to welcome all with open arms.

Whenever there are awards, people are going to feel hurt. Not everyone can “win”, but I don’t think you get to complain if you don’t get involved! You get out of the community what you put into it, so get active and get awesome!

By the by, whoever your friend is who said that quote…well…she’s pretty awesome. She should totally get a gold star or something. ;)

Erin’s last blog post..Shameless Self-Promotion

It makes me feel frustrated that people are in any way hurt by the nominations. I only joined 20SB in APRIL. Since then, I’ve done my best to be active on the forums, to read blogs and respond to those that read mine. I’ve read the so called “popular” people, and tried (and usually succeeded!) in making friends.

I really think that if people are disappointed in being included, they shouldn’t detract from those who are—they should resolve to be involved, vocal and active in 20SB in 2010. Come to Vegas 2. Start and reply to discussions. NOMINATE. Vote.

Great post.

LOVE you…but you already know that…and my feelings on this post.

Jessica’s last blog post..A Trip Down (Facebook) Memory Lane

i wouldn’t call it cliquey per se, but i can see both sides of the issue here. On one hand – those who don’t nominate shouldn’t complain, but on the other hand – the 20sb blogger community is so big now and that’s so great and there are so many bloggers – amazing bloggers – each and every one of them (and i LOVE your Love story project! Congrats!!! I still need to submit mine to you ;) ) but it does, from an outsiders perspective, seem cliquey that the same people are nominated for multiple categories – not that they don’t deserve it but the sheer numbers i can see how it would look like a cliquey jerryrigged process.

But you’re right – it is petty and juvenile and we’re not in high school anymore and we shouldn’t be cutting each other down. Each one of those nominees deserves it not to say that there aren’t other bloggers that deserve to be nominated but if you don’t nominate and vote? You really really can’t complain.

Congrats to you gal! xox

Excellent post. I’m so glad you wrote this. You know, I’ve been nominated the past two years and won both those years and was beyond touched and thrilled about that but this year? I wasn’t nominated for anything and that’s perfectly fine, too. Everyone that was nominated? Totally deserves it. (Congratulations, by the way!) In fact, I haven’t even voted yet because I just can’t decide!

Not EVERYONE can be nominated and I am sure there are others just as deserving as these that were nominated, but we are a community. We have to stand together and applaud people’s successes and support each other when someone takes a fall.

This community is what you make of it, I’ve also been there since the beginning and while I’m not the most active, I always know they will be there for me. Love you lady and hope to see your face soon!

ashalah’s last blog post..Always Remembering

All I can say is that I agree with you 100%. These girls and guys that have been nominated have feelings too, they’re not untouchable, so when other people tear them down, it’s going to hurt. People really need to take a moment to think through what they’re saying.
Anyway… congratulations on being nominated. Seriously, I’m excited for you. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, yet I never (maybe once or twice?) comment, but I’m going to make an effort to comment more and show you the love!

Angela’s last blog post..For Brandy

I have mixed feelings about this. The 20SB community is an amazing place, but sometimes I feel people are losing sight of what it’s all about. It isn’t about awards, the number of comments or nominations. It’s a community. We rely on each other for support, inspiration and laughter. I wish more people would remember that. I know that the site will continue growing, but a part of me really misses when it was just 2-500 of us. Do I feel bad saying that? Yes. I’ve met so many amazing bloggers through the growth of the site, but I just wish we’d love each other a bit more and fret about readers, contests and comments less.

One can dream!

I think that anytime there’s a nomination and voting process, someone (and usually lots of people) wind up upset. I know I am. Because, well, I’m grateful and appreciative that people nominated me for the awards I’m up for, but.. I didn’t ask for it, you know? I didn’t blog about it and I didn’t do the “pick me! pick me!” thing. But now that I’ve been nominated? I feel, I don’t know… guilty? Which is silly and takes away from the whole process and and and boooo.

nicoleantoinette’s last blog post..how to deal with heartbreak

Although it might look cliquey that some of the same blogs were nominated for more than one category, the fact is this: those blogs and their authors are cornerstones of our (now) large and ever-growing community. When it comes down to it, those of us who have been 20SB members from the start as well as the new 20SB members KNOW those blogs, and THAT is why they got nominated. Those bloggers have been integral to 20SB. They truly ARE some of our best writers. And they do a LOT of outreach.

I found it very intimidating meeting a lot of these bloggers, because their blogs are so big, so much bigger than I’d ever expect mine to be. And that includes you, Rachel! But, when I did meet them, I found out that they’re not just awesome writers, but fabulous people who I’m happy to call my friends.

I think we just have to get over this “Blog Celebrity” thing and realize that we are a community, and every member is equal. We’re all entitled to have our opinions heard, which is why we have things like forums and posts like this. And everyone’s feelings are valid. But, deep down, we’re all just people with something in common: we’re 20-somethings, and we write. And we can all be friends, if we try. Outreach, outreach, outreach! I appreciate every single comment I get on my blog, and every email exchange I have, be it with a “popular” blogger or someone new to the blogging scene, because I’ve learned that, no matter their popularity, every 20SB member is a potential friend. It’s scary because you really have to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there, but once you do, you’ll find that there are some wonderful, caring bloggers out there. At least, I did.

Great post. I like that you addressed this issue and I couldn’t agree more with that last quote. Sure, recognition is nice, but if that’s all we’re blogging for then we’re not going to get the recognition because we’re blogging for the wrong reasons! I am a huge fan of the majority of the bloggers that were nominated and didn’t think for one moment that they DIDN’T deserve it. I was really surprised by the backlash on twitter and on some blogs!

I think it’s perfectly normal/acceptable to have your feelings in hurt with something like this. I love your Love Story Project, and obviously by receiving the nomination other people do as well. The simple fact is that not everyone will receive a nomination or win Blog of the Year. A lot of things in life are about who you know, and to an extent this is as well, but it’s because people know who you are and adore your blog, not because you’re BFF with the top person making the list.

Keep your chin up!

Sarah’s last blog post..101 in 1001

Hmm, even though I do read most of the blogs and love a lot of the people, I’d have to say it kind of feels like high school. But you don’t hear my complaining about it :) That being said, I don’t really think the same person should be able to be in more than a category or two, it’s kind of silly…with all the blogs out there.

Alyssa’s last blog post..Well I guess I have something to blog about now

Bravo, Rachel, for speaking your mind on this. I understand the situation on both sides, & I agree that you make a very good point.

I don’t really know what else to say other than LOVE YOU! :]

Ev`Yan || apricot tea.’s last blog post..take a picture, ?cause I won’t remember.

It sounds like feelings are hurt all around, which is never a good situation. I think your response is totally legitimate. I’m so happy for everybody who is nominated, as I love a lot of those blogs and discovered some new ones through the process (like yours!).
While I *know* that the bloggers that were nominated aren’t cliquey, I can see how somebody (especially somebody who might not read all those bloggers and *know* them) could see it that way. I will admit, I was a little bit surprised that the same few bloggers were nominated in SO many categories. Still, that’s more a testament to their great blogs than a flaw in the system. With 9,000 members it’d sure be great to see more “variety” to choose from, but I think that should be on us to nominate more people. I’m not super in the loop on how the voting worked, but I think that if more people nominated more blogs, it’d shake it up, yes? Instead of complaining or attacking people, like you said, GET INVOLVED.
I know that I’ve kind of let me my interactions on the 20sb site slip, just because I’ve got so much other internet stuff going on. But it’s still a great place, and to keep it that way it requires us all to make an effort.

Great post, Rachel!

Amanda’s last blog post..félicitations!!

I’m so out of the 20sb loop (although I did do my nominations and voted yesterday) that I didn’t even know there was drama concerning the noms until I read your post today.

The nominees are all incredible people and bloggers and are rightly deserved in their nominations. Congrats to YOU! and congrats to EVERYONE ELSE!

I loved that you mentioned how we all should be celebrating one another and not trying to tear each other down. It’s so simple!

To me, the backlash just sounds like whining, although there have been some valid points brought up, and I just hate that kind of child-like behavior.

Aw Rachel:) You’re so good when you’re riled up. I appreciate the support you gave Lisa and I and the rest of the team, and we don’t take the conversation personally. It highlights the participation levels of any community; participation = familiarity and when you attempt to shed light on who’s really kicking in, I think sometimes people think it’s been manufactured.

I just wanted to shed some light in case it was missed on Twitter…some people have found these stats useful to the conversation:

50% of our members are newer than 6 months at 20SB.

75% are newer than 12 months.

We had about 110 nominators. We’ve (in 36 hours) doubled that in Finalist Voters.

I think the MOST useful thing these stats demonstrated is that we are an INFANT COMMUNITY. We have growing pains, and I’m dedicating our team in 2010 to easing those pains. We’ll dig up new blogs and bloggers, and we’ll shed light on the cools things all of you are doing. We’ll expand our team, and our reach, into the community to try and ‘hear’ your conversations so that we really do represent you, and can do whatever we can to make blogging better for you.

Great discussion everyone:)

I have to agree. I’m not new to blogging (omgimold) but was pals with folks who have long since left and I’m just now getting back into the swing of things.

The “popular” folks that I’ve made the effort to reach out to have all been INSANELY welcoming. Like “Here, did you want the shirt off my back while I bake you fresh cookies?” welcoming.

And I was totally, totally going to make a deep and fantastic comment but then you said you all wear pink on Wednesdays and all I could hear in my brain was, “Regina, you can’t wear sweatpants. It’s Monday.”

<3

I’m so glad that you wrote something about this because I was going to, but honestly I’m tired of defending the community right now.

It’s so dumb. If it’s such a closed system then you can work it easily if you try. If it’s so few people voting and nominating then it’s easy to make friends if you make an effort outside of writing a post and walking away.

Thank you for adding your voice, just personally, I really appreciate it.

Kyla Roma’s last blog post..Maybe We Could Start A Little Repertory Movie House or Something

amen rachel…amen.

Kelly’s last blog post..I look like I’m moving out

I totally agree with what you’ve said here about the situation with the awards. Although I can understand the point of view about certain members being cliquey (more on that in a second), with regard to the awards, ALL of 20sb had a chance to nominate. Those up for the awards are the result of the people who took the time to nominate.

As for the accusations of certain members being in a clique, I can see where the accusers come from, although I think they’re perceiving it incorrectly. I think that people get intimidated by the friendships that already exist within 20sb. To me, though, it’s less of a popular clique situation and more of a new-kid-in-school situation (if we’re keeping up the high school analogy theme). What I mean is, as a new kid in school, you aren’t going to automatically be best friends with everyone else because nobody really knows you. It’s not a clique because a clique implies that there’s no penetrating it, which is completely untrue.

Making friends is a two-way street, and somehow whenever these issues come up, I feel that newcomers forget that it takes some effort on their part to send an e-mail, make a heartfelt comment, or respond to something on Twitter in order to make new friends. The people in the so-called “clique” are, in actuality, incredibly nice and welcoming, but they can only go so far. I think people who join wrongfully expect that just by posting some blogs and commenting here and there, they’ll be at the same level (in terms of followers and friendships) as people who’ve been doing this and have been in 20sb for years now.

(And so ends my long-winded comment, haha. Congrats on being nominated, by the way!)

Cait’s last blog post..a special post.

I know that we don’t even really know each other IRL (yet) – (OMG! LOOK EVERYONE! NOT ALL THE NOMINEES ARE BFFS4LIFE!)

…but, I can’t help but feel this was at least a little bit for me, or at least represented me and my corner of the interwebs. So, thanks for that. It’s just really difficult to work so damn hard at something- at relationships, at connections, at building something to be proud of… to welcome every goddamn person who comes your e-way with warm and welcome arms- and then have it torn away and have your efforts essentially called worthless in a matter of moments.

Nevertheless, thanks to you, and I’ll concur with the “growing pains” and the “be proactive” movements. If you don’t like it, change it.

You absolutely deserve the nomination sister, you’re amazing. cheers. And i’m wearing pink tomorrow. Since ya know, it’s wednesday. ;)

Chelsea Talks Smack’s last blog post..R.E.S.P.E.C.T….it isn’t just an Aretha song.

Amen sister!

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Hmmm. When I got the email from 20sb about voting, the first thing I thought when I saw the list of nominees was “oh yay, I read that blog! that one too! oh and that one,” etc. It didn’t really occur to me that it was a clique, because like the others have said, the girls and guys nominated have been so kind and great and wonderful and I wish I knew more of them in real life!

Congratulations on your nomination :)

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I feel so bad that all the attention is being taken away from the amazing nominees by these nay-sayers. I hadn’t heard of most of the blogs that were nominated (yours included – hi!) so I took the time to look through them. And I think they’re all amazing! Some aren’t my style, but I still think they’re all great people. Who cares how many people voted or who’s friends IRL or whatever. Blogs are a way to connect people, we should all be friendly and happy and not treat it like high school.

Jackie’s last blog post..Quelle honeymoon?

I like to vote for the bloggers who I know work hard to be awesome and earn those awards. If someone were a “popular” blogger and had a crap blog and never did anything nice, that’s when I’d really wonder about the integrity of the community. The blogs that are nominated deserve it because they ROCK – but if a truly rockin’ blog isn’t on that list, then people like me (20SB-ers who didn’t nominate a soul) are actually to blame. I accept that blame. I could do more, and until I do, I have no right to complain about the state of things.

I’m awake enough to notice, though, that the so-called cliques are really made up of the bloggers who A)commit a lot of time to their online presences, and B)are really quite a lot alike in many other ways anyhow. Sociologically speaking, it makes sense. Just like it makes sense that this year I became friends with other bloggers who share my interests a little more than others do.

In my head anyway, it actually all makes sense.

And I have pink velcro on my hand brace today, JUST so I could tweet that hashtag. I’m not afraid of the popular girls! :)

Rebekah’s last blog post..Does he wear girls? pajamas or something?

I LOVE the 20sb community (so much so that I’m still hanging about after I should have left) and it’s sad that this has caused so much controversy. People who have been nominated are feeling bad, which I don’t believe was anyone’s intention. The fact of the matter is, that people have been nominated because other people like their blog! A particular blog may not be to everyone’s taste but then that’s why there’s so many different types of blogs out there, I guess! But if people are nominated because other people LIKE them . . . well isn’t that the point???

I can certainly understand why you’ve been annoyed and I commend you for speaking your mind about it, just like everyone else who has weighed in on the issue. I wish I was that brave!

It’s been really interesting to read this debate and the upside . . . having read everyone’s contributions, I feel like I’ve found more bloggers to read in the process!

Congrats on your award and best of luck. :)

Paula’s last blog post..“WHERE IN THE WORLD WEDNESDAY” AND MY TOP TUNES OF ‘O9 . . .

I love the idea of the 20SB Bootleggers, but it’s definitely frustrating to see the same old faces in them – and it feels so much like a chicken-and-the-egg situation. The bloggers everyone knows get recognition because everyone KNOWS them – but then how do bloggers who are trying to make their way – who may be trying just as hard as you guys – make their voices heard? It’s tough to break out as a blogger, to become a “popular” blogger, to get more than five comments on every post – hell, to get ANY comments on every post – and it can be disheartening to see the same exact people getting top honors every time – and this “formal setting” 20SB has provided a formal setting for being disheartened.

Suburban Sweetheart’s last blog post..Aught Lang Syne! (Farewell to 2009)

I’m just going to throw my two cents in and say that although I understand some people are disappointed by the 20sb nominations and winners, I don’t see why it is such a massive fuss. I think the awards are a fab way to find out about vibrant, interesting bloggers and most of the blogs nominated seem to be excellent. 20sb is such a huge community, so obviously not everybody who may deserve a nomination will get one. All of the “popular” bloggers that I have contacted in the past have been super kind, welcoming and helpful. I just think it’s nice to be part of a community and remember that high school is over…

laura’s last blog post..Nobody says it like Miley.

I know I’m uber late on this, but Doni and I had the LONGEST talk about this and how we think 20SB is awesome and totally not clique-y. While it may appear so from a distance, it’s not. And we love it. And you.

Thanks for posting this, lovely. I feel you.

I think what happened was wonderful for you and people should be thrilled for you! It’s sad that people want to put others down because they’re not getting “recognition” like others. Yes, you secretly hope others will boost you up, but you start blogging for personal reasons. It should be about you and not what everyone else thinks.

Congrats on all the wonderful things that have happened to you!

AuntBT’s last blog post..You getting married = Me being broke

Hey you.
It’s a great incentive to put what you’re feeling out there.
Btw, I think someone’s probably already told you this before but you kinda look like Kristen from The Hills. and that’s a compliment! ;)

nahl’s last blog post..There exists no reason at all to wear sequins…*

I remember when 20SB was just a bunch of random people who all seemed to be fellow readers…and now there are thousands of people from everywhere! 2.5+ years later and there is backlash over an award…too bad, because it really is just about 20’somethings sharing some thoughts and cyberspace with some others.

Therapeutic Ramblings’s last blog post..Yes, I’m Still Here!

ps. I wish I were as popular as you. ;) This being comment 49-50, that’d be like a week’s worth of comments on my blog! :D

Therapeutic Ramblings’s last blog post..Yes, I’m Still Here!