Confessions of Jersey Girl

Life has been busy.  It’s weird to not really have any time to myself.  The laundry gets piled up, the dust bunnies start to collect on the floor, the gym time gets cut short,  I eat kraft blue box instead of cooking an actual meal and I haven’t seen Matt in two weeks.  I mean, yes… i’ve seen him.  But mostly just to go to sleep.  I called him the other day all teary, begging him for just a day of the two of us together.   We planned out our Sunday.  We were going to grab breakfast at our favorite spot, go hiking around Cape May, maybe take the waverunners out, and then?   The Air Force called.  They won.  Our plans were scrapped because he had to be on base all weekend.  Awesome.

I’ve had quite a few shoots this week and I put off editing a few days to clear my head, so I was a little behind where I wanted to be.  I was sitting on the couch editing my face off and I get a text.  It was super late, so it was kind of odd.  I pick up my phone and it says this…

“Have I told you today how beautiful you are?  I love you so much”

It was from Matt.  He was sitting right next to me.  I might have swooned a bit.  I immediately closed my computer for the night.

It’s the little things.

Today my posts and video from Matt’s homecoming were featured on The Welcome Home Blog.  I’m honored.  Please head over and check it out, but be sure to bring tissues.  While you’re watching videos and reading other entries though, please remember that we’re the lucky ones.  We’re the ones that get to have that second first kiss, that running jump on to the man that we love.  There are a lot of families out there that are not so lucky, there are a lot of families out there who’s loved ones have yet to return.  Think of them when you’re reading this.  Sharing our homecomings with civilians is a very special thing.  It’s a private moment that very few can actually understand.  I love it though, and i’m so very proud of my hero.

Also, I was contacted by a representative from Bacardi for a summer program they are doing with the USO to help our troops!

“ Bacardi USA’s “60 Second Cocktail Program,” an initiative launched by Bacardi, USA in association with the USO. This summer, Bacardi, USA encourages Americans to toast to the troops with its “60 Second Cocktails Program”. Bacardi has committed to donate $75,000 to the USO at the onset of summer, with consumers (21+) able to increase the total donation; each time a fan joins Bacardi’s “60 Second Cocktails” Facebook page at 60 Second Cocktails Program and clicks DONATE, the company will send $1 to the USO. With just one click, anyone can give!”

I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks.  Wowzers.   I promise, I have a good great excuse.  Promise.  In the past two weeks, my photography “business” has come alive.    Do I think i’m the best?  No.  Do I have a LOT to learn?  ABSOLUTELY.   But I want to be good at this more than I have ever wanted anything in the whole world ever.   In two weeks, I have shot a wedding, beach portraits with a mother and daughter, 3 portrait sessions with individuals and one with a brother and sister.  I’ve sat up late at night editing my little heart out to get the pictures back to the families ASAP.  I’ve shot in 100 degree heat with 12 pounds of gear around my neck (no really.  those lenses are HEAVY).  I’ve gotten so nervous that I thought I was going to PUKE.  But you know?  I think i’m getting the hang of this.

We all get the lecture when we’re kids.  You know the one.  The one where your parents talk to you about money and credit cards and they tell you that those shiny little plastic cards aren’t magic and they come with something called an APR.  Your parents probably told you something like “Put something small on the credit card each month.  Pay it off in full!  Don’t buy things that you can’t afford.”  But somewhere in between that conversation that I had with my mom and getting my grubby little hands on my very first credit card, I forgot all of those talks about financial responsibility.

My freshman year of college, I was bombarded by creditors eager to hand me my first piece of plastic.  I wanted one of those “COLLEGE” shirts that everyone was wearing (Shut up.  It was 2002.) so I applied for whatever credit card was handing those out.  I got my first card in the mail with a limit of $1,000.  I did okay with it for a few months and then the temptation of new clothes and dinners out with friends and concerts just got to be too much.  I always told myself it would be “Just this once”, but we all know that isn’t how it works.  Well, I racked up that $1,000 pretty quickly.   Then?  I was two days late on a payment and the APR skyrocketed from the promo rate to the regular rate of like 28%.  When I couldn’t make the minimum payment?  I didn’t pay anything at all.  I avoided the creditors calling every five minutes.  I disregarded the harm that was happening to my credit.  I didn’t care.  I don’t know why I didn’t care, I guess it was easier.

It was easier to skip eating and swipe my debit card to buy the designer shirt that I wanted (at the time?  it was totally Ed Hardy.  What?  Ed Hardy was never in?  Pshhh.  Before John Gosselin, it was cute.), to not pay my credit card bill because I’d rather be out at some fancy restaurant with my girlfriends eating sushi and drinking martini’s with top shelf vodka.  I had no concept of what was happening with my credit score, heck… I never even thought to check.  I was in college and I was having the time of my life, consequences never even OCCURRED to me.

And then on that fateful day, I decided to check out my credit score.  I swear, it was in the 400’s.  Um.  What?  You can’t get a car with a credit score of a 400.  You can’t get a freaking prepaid credit card with that kind of a credit score (You totally can, but a 400?  Really?  COME ON).  I didn’t know what to do.  I knew it was bad, but I had no idea.  So I googled.  I trolled the forums on MyFico.com and tried to learn new ways to boost my score.  I wrote letters to the credit bureaus disputing information on my report that was false, I wrote letters to the creditors begging them to help me.  I got a lot of information removed from my credit reports which boosted my score a little, but the only thing that really helps is time.

God, looking back now, i’m so frustrated with myself.  Seriously.  What was I thinking?  I mean, to just not pay a bill?  The thought of that now makes me break out in hives.  When your parents tell you “life happens”, they weren’t freaking kidding.  It does and you need to be prepared.  I don’t care if you can only put $5 into savings each paycheck, it’s better than nothing.  If you can only afford to pay $10 over the minimum payment on your credit card, DO IT.  It’s all going to pay off in the long run.  One of the most important investments I’ve made in the past few years as I’ve stumbled through my finances was to pay myself first.  It should be like a bill you pay into your savings account, it’s non negotiable.  Never be scared to pick up the phone and call your credit card company.  If you’re payment is going to be late or you can’t afford the minimum?  They will work with you, i’ll bet anything.

But the most important thing that I learned is that I wasn’t alone.  Debt among 20 somethings is so common, and so many of us are in the process of digging ourselves out.  For whatever reason, money is a taboo subject, but I feel like if I had someone to talk to when I was going through what I went through, I would have been able to pick myself up faster.   It would have saved me so much work to get my credit score up 300 points, to get a few dollars in the bank, to feel like i’m not drowning in my debt.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about money, debt or your own personal spending habits?  Do you think that personal finance and money is better kept to yourself?

Disclaimer: This post is part of the 20SB Blog Carnival: Friends & Money, sponsored by Charles Schwab. Prizes may be awarded to selected posts. The information and opinions expressed in this post do not reflect the views or opinions of Charles Schwab. Details on the event, eligibility, and a complete list of participating bloggers can be found here.

Elizabeth asked to see a picture of my Penny sunbathing.  This was funny on numberous accounts, but mostly because THAT IS ALL SHE DOES.

These were seriously taken at different times.  Different weeks even.  My outside couch is her favorite spot in the world.  I have to beg her to get down and come in the house.  We have had pretty fantastic weather here lately, and she just sits by the door begging to be let out all of the time.  Precious.

Ang asked to see the inside of my refrigerator.  How very Cribs.  I debated on even taking this picture today because truthfully, i’m ashamed.  I can’t even tell you the last time I went grocery shopping.  It’s sad.  I make the weekly pit stop for fresh veggies and milk, but that’s about it.  Sigh.  My fridge is a disaster.

You can see it all.  Haha.  Frozen chicken, pierogies, thin buns, my brita pitcher that I live and die by, country time lemonade for easy mixing with sweet tea vodka (that’s on the bottom shelf of the door), yogurt, apple sauce for matts lunches, left over pasta sauce, sunflower seeds for salad, hot dogs that my father insists on buying even though I think they are the most vile thing ever created, honey shrimp I thought Matt would love and most importantly, TOTS.

Jessa asked to see my dishes.

Up top is some crystal that my Mommom used when the girls would come over to play cards.  She gave it to me right after Matt left and I was scared to take it.  I didn’t want anything to happen to it, she was obviously trusting me with something that held a lot of memories for her.  But, she insisted and there it sits.  I’d like to pull it out on a girls night of my own, but I never remember.  That’s probably a good thing though.

The dishes though?  I am not a huge fan of em.  Matt’s aunt got them on clearance for super cheap right before we moved into the house.  They work perfectly fine and I don’t really care what the dishes look like, my food always impresses. :)

The green bowls are a score from the Anthropologie sale racks and the green cup to the right is what I drink my tea in.

Jen asked to see my outdoor living space!  I love this.  LOVE.  I am seriously smitten over my outdoor furniture.

Right?  Ah, love.  I got the furniture from WalMart of all places.  It’s part of their Canopy line.  I just loved the blue cushions, so I knew it was meant to be. :)  We actually have TWO parts to our outdoor living area though…

Ah, the Man Cave.  Yes, that is a pool table.  Yes that is a kegerator.  Yes, there is a keg in the kegerator and it is fully operational. Every man’s dream and every wifes nightmare. We inherited the pool table from my parents that couldn’t wait to get rid of it and get some space back and we inherited the kegerator (much to my dismay) from Matt’s batchelor pad.  When they all moved out of their shared apartment, all of the other boys moved home with mom and dad.  The kegerator had nowhere to go and found it’s new home in my garage.  Sigh.

Lacey wanted to know where Matt and I spend our time.

We have not one, but TWO super charged waverunners.  My mom tells me all the time that it’s my fault we even own the damn things.  She reminds me that every time I broke Matt’s heart before we got back together, he went out and bought a new toy.  Sad, I know… and i’d like to argue it…. but it’s the honest to god truth.

One time after I told him I couldn’t be with him, he bought a motorcycle.  Thank god I convinced him to sell that. :)  These things do 75 on the water, which is pretty insane.  I’ve only gotten up to 50mph or so, which is pretty fun.  Matt jumps sky high in these things over waves, which is why I ride the red one by myself.

We only have one day off together per week, and I like to be doing something instead of sitting in the house.  We will usually sleep in a bit, grab breakfast at our favorite spot (where our entire family works!) and then head out for the afternoon on the wave runners.  It’s a lot of fun and if you’re ever in Jersey, I’ll take you for a ride!

Amy asked to see my fridge!  I took this to mean the outside of my fridge.

You can see… a group picture of me and my cousins from when we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese, a postcard from Orange County, Ca that I love, the Save the Date for Matt’s brother’s wedding, an old picture of Matt in his blues, Matts work schedule, softball schedule and pay schedule, a letter from Kerri, a card from Doniree, Jimaie’s Christmas card, the registration for my car that I should really put IN my car, and Penny’s heartworm pills.  Interesting, I know.

Katelin asked where my wedding corner was.  I actually didn’t think I had a wedding corner.  Ha!  Destination weddings are super easy to plan and don’t involve a ton of DIY because there really isn’t a lot that you can bring with you.  And then I remembered my invitations!  They are currently taking up my office space, i’m trying to get them out before the end of the month.  It’s stressful.  It’s actually a whole different post for a whole different day.  ANYWAY.  My wedding corner.

Divine twine, film for my Instax, envelopes, liners, wax seals… it’s taking over my LIFE.

Kelsey (a fellow AF wife! <3) asked what physical object comforted me the most while Matt was deployed.  I had to think about this one.  I thought about posting my computer because seriously, a lot of nights, that is what got me through.

But truthfully, I have a necklace that I got from Lucky Wife.  It has two charms on it.  One reads “Wife of a Hero” and the other reads “Lucky Me”.  It served as a daily reminder of who I was missing and how lucky that I was to even HAVE someone to miss.  Also, my engagement ring.  There were days when I was so down.  I’d just sit and twirl it around my finger and remember the night he asked me to marry him.  It never failed to bring a smile on my face, to remind me exactly what i’m waiting for.

Bria asked to see the inside of my cupboards.  Again, same as fridge.  Disaster.  I’m pretty much living off of Thin Buns and Cheddar SunChips right now.  Sad.

I seriously don’t know why those chicken noodles are still in there.  I didn’t even notice until I took this picture.  Ugh, I hate those things.   Yes.  You’re seeing Spagetti-o’s.  That’s for when I get really desperate.   The Easy Cheese is Matt’s weakness.  He puts it on pretzel crisps.  Me?  I go for the Nutella that’s next to the box.  YUM.

And there you have it!  Little bits and pieces of my every day.  If there’s something you want to see, you can still let me know!  This was a fun little project!  I will hopefully be able to take the rest of the suggestions photos tomorrow, i’m off from work all day, HOORAY! :)